How ISIS Changed Christmas

     For the past four days it’s been a constant reminder that my birthday is coming up; which means Christmas is coming up and I will be twenty nine years old. For some, that may seem very young, as if I have the world in front of me; and to others that may seem old – or old enough. I’m in the last year of my twenty’s; the time, where according to Carrie, you make the mistakes. My twenties I feel however; was to learn the lessons. I made all the mistakes in my late teens, early twenties. The concern is, how did I get to, twenty nine and where am I going from here?

     It took me, first off, twenty seven years to figure out I was living for someone else. I was living someone else’s life! Once that was found out, it’s taken some time to figure out this person; Crystal. Life begun all over again, I’m slowing learning things, I should have learned a long time ago. Don’t get me wrong, I have some knowledge of course however; it’s the basic things I never grasped onto. Self-control, discipline, self-respect, courage, love, in-dependency and commitment. The things we learn from our parents and our upbringing.

     1986, December 24^th was a calm, Christmas Eve in America; sure there were things going on however; nothing compared to what is possible this Christmas Eve. As my mother prepared to give birth to this girl, I’m sure she had no idea what she was getting herself into; just as I. She shaped me in her eyes; I was Mary’s daughter for twenty six years and that was all I needed. I feed her ego and she feed my dependency; on her. Two broken people, typically don’t create a whole human. There will always be pieces missing, just as pieces are missing from the creators of that person. What Mary lacked in life, she made sure Crystal had but, everything she yearned and demanded of people was absorbed by Crystal and her other children.

     When Mary, shared her last Christmas with Crystal in 2013; she shattered the image of Christmas and life. Mary passed off this earth, right when Crystal was beginning to question things. When God begin working in Crystal’s life – the life she once knew came to a head and blew up in flames all at the same time. Just as, she begin to understand her past and the relationship between her and her mother, she begin to understand the affects not only of her mother’s actions but, those of her village. The actions of her community, her hometown, her nation and her world. She begin to understand her constant struggle within her own skin. She begin to become, me.

     For years, it was a struggle, to understand why I didn’t like my skin. I’m Black; so black that my “best friend” in high school gave me a nick name called “Black Jesus”. Nothing to do with spirituality, I am Black. For me, that use to be a bad thing. I didn’t want my skin, to be dark – I loved being African-American but, not dark skin. I hated my hair also, I kept a perm in my hair because I couldn’t deal with the curls, “naps”. To add insult to injury I was overweight majority of my teenage and adult life. My world didn’t prepare me for how cruel people and life could be.

 With so much personal adversity, one is to wonder how do you overcome but, as I read and pray and learn - I understand. With God, and excuse me; I do not mean the same thing most, Christians, and other people who practice religion mean. With God you can do all things. I’m learning the struggle my mother had within herself; I’m understanding the hustle of the media, television and entertainment; I’m understanding the hustle of politics, major business, banking and industry and/or capitalism. The demons from the past; the growth that is required to move forward, is a journey – I am pleased to be taking every single day.

     This journey that sort of lead me to the understanding that, I was a racist and still have some of the remnants. Yes, I admitted to being a Black racist. Not just towards, black’s; NO!. I was racist towards, every race; except white. It was undercover however. I did not know I wasn’t racist against them – I didn’t understand that my unconsciousness didn’t allow me to hate the “white man” because internally “he” was still my leader and he didn’t really do anything wrong. I forgave the “white man” for his sins and we now live together happily than ever! I didn’t understand that, because “my leader” hated the “black man” I had to hate him to. I didn’t understand that I, squeezed my purse tighter when I saw black men outside, because the media or “they” want me to believe that the “black man” is a dangerous and violent criminal. I couldn’t understand that “my goal”; to get a “good government job” or to get a job with benefits – wasn’t really a goal at all but, a limit set by my community and upbringing. The journey that brought me to the understanding that racism still exist in my mind, just as so many other’s on the face of the earth.When I heard the names of the two people who committed the crime, in San Bernardino, California; a few days ago and I immediately hated them because their names where Muslim. 

     “My twenties where sort of a blur” I say, as I think, during these last couple days. Many trials and tribulations lead me to this point, to this blog. As I awaken from the darkness that has covered my eyes, my mind, my body and soul for years, I am happy to report. To be witness and to assist other’s in this journey or any journey needed to be successful in their lives. When I figured out that God gave me my words, to evoke change throughout this world; I now understand what I am supposed to do in this world and if this is not the path he wants me on, then I believe he will show me something different. By the time, I figured this out I was one year away from thirty. My last year of my twenties is upon me and I am freaking out a little. The challenge to make a difference is one I gladly accept, however my God has not made this transition or job easy to complete. Let alone move forward along the journey. As I push forward I had to share my understanding with you all – to hopefully share the future success with you. 

What are we to do?

     This guy said on Twitter today that, the reason for the Missouri strike was not actually racism! What does he think it was really about. Do white people honestly believe Blacks bring up racism because where lazy? Do they truly believe Blacks cry out for equality because were not smart enough to maneuver around the US?

      I consider myself to be a very smart Black American but, everyday I woke up, for years; I felt I had a disadvantage because I was Black. Nothing personally happened to me, that was racially motivated however; with February and the constant reminders of racism drown into my consciousness. I immediately felt this dark cloud over my Black skin. Another lady said on Twitter that we have to understand that racism is a psychological problem- and this is way we all (white, black, brown, purple, etc...) need to wake up.

      Black people don't want racism to exist. We dont cry wolf because we like being excluded or singled out for our race. Michael Brown's family is not imagining that he was killed because he was Black. Racism is clearly real! Its so real and so in grained in all American's we don't know we do it. I was staying in a hotel and this white lady came in a few days after us. She was there for about three weeks before we actually had an interaction. Everytime she would see my wife and I she would speed up or bend her head down, to walk past.

      One day I was doing laundry, as I begin walking back into my building; she got out of her car and also headed into the same building. I was about fifteen steps behind her and as she got to the door she speed up and close it in my face. I didn't do or say anything because I didn't want to be that girl- oh she did that cause Im Black. I left it alone and gave her the benefit of the doubt. A few days later, she was coming out of the building as I was coming into the building. Now, its been about two months; we all have been here a while and I had an arm full of grocery bags. As she approached the door and I stood there looking for my keys she stepped to the side and waited for me to use my keys. And then proceeded to try and come out the door before I walked in, as I opened the door.

      I immediately stopped her: "Why didn't you open the door? Do you not know who I am?" She paused for a moment and looked me in my face: "I was afraid that you would do something to me. Every time I see you, I get nervous and I'm not really sure why." "Did you not open the door for me because I'm Black? Are you afraid of me because I'm Black; even though you see me everyday with my dog, son and wife. Even though I had an arm full of grocery bags!" I said. "I didn't even notice I was doing it. I didn't even know I was being this way; because you where Black. I opened the door for this young white guy, with forty tattoos and they kepted me up all night. Am I a racist?" She said with this disturbed yet sad look on her face. "I have never considered myself as a racist but, as I think about it, I do a lot of racist things. Which makes me a racist!" She couldn't believe it and I couldn't believe that she was obvious to what she was doing all her life. Ive done the samething; to Black and Hispanic men. When/if I see one, at night; I grab my things and bring them close. Or lock my car doors if their walking up the street.

      We all do it! Or have done it but, because we have millions of people, like this guy mentioned earlier from Twitter; who continue to believe and pass around the notion that racism is over. We will always live in this world.

What we need to do.....

-Take away Black History Month! Or talk about all of Black History; not just America's Black history.

-Stop praising the Black activists from slavery!

-Get rid of the "minority" standing or standard.

-Remove race from our vocabulary! Figure it out-you figured out a way to put it there.

      This is just the beginning! Join the conversation and share what else needs to change, to evoke change.

@CrysWashington6 on Twitter & Periscope
Crystal Washington on Facebook

Random....

       It's three am, on the east coast of America and I'm trying to put things together - or at least make sense. Do we deny that racism exist; to present the theory that it no longer exist?! When did being a "reality star" become a credible job? Why is everyone upset with homosexuality?

       Racism didn't exist in my neighborhood, as a child. My introduction to the hatred for another's race or your own race, came from school. We were taught bad things that happened to people based on their race and exposed to the damage it did. We were exposed to Jim Crow, The KKK, "Nazi Hitler" & the Holocaust. To teach us how much minorities, "as a people" have overcome. However; do we need to relieve something, over and over again; that we have overcome? Why must the notion of racism be drilled into every fourth graders head? Why must you remind me of the bad, if it no longer exist? Is my life better knowing that; for years it was ok to think openly, that Blacks are less than? We get a refresher course every February; a Black leader, of this great nation and systematically enslavement of Black men: with the criminal justice system. Am I confused or is this one big circle? Racism; a system created by intolerable men; is continuously taught and relieved, along with numerous racially motivated crimes, actions and injustices; deployed amongst the minority. Pfft, if we continue to deny it's existence, we can not fix it.

      In a world where racism is #trending but, not #trending; one should expect that work isn't the same. As a teenager, reality tv, for me; consist of Big Brother & The Real World. Now, everyone is a celebrity from one show to another. There is a reality show for almost anything, like rbeing a "bad girl" - it now pays off; not listening to your mother "ladies are to be seen, not heard." They have shows to show you, your next door neighbor; how they became your neighbor; how you can pick better neighbor's; if your neighbor has ghosts or if they keep a lot of things. Has Sesame Street gone so rogue that, Keeping up with the Kardashian's is your child's favorite show? Have we gotten so smart, sophisticated or rich that we lost our common sense? How has doing the right thing become heroic and the wrong or bad thing become normal or expected? How is Zimmerman still harassing people and police, are able to create and or change the laws? And on the other hand, a mother is awarded "Mother of the Year" for doing what every mother should have done.

      Nothing's a secret anymore; everything you've done in the dark is coming to light. Rules that where put into place, morals, codes and standards that were established so long ago are being broken down; some good, some bad. Communities are no longer; family is non-existent and on the other hand - homosexuality is coming out of the closet. Great thing for me; sad for many others: but, why? Does my homosexuality offend you because, you believe that God said it is a sin? Does my homosexuality offend you because, you believe in a law that said; marriage is for a man and woman. Black people, who are firmly against homosexuality because of your religion: I want you to think about this - the same God that you believe in, is the same God that says its ok to enslave Black people. Or in some way, his words can be interpreted as, to enslave Blacks. The same God that allowed others to harm you, in your righteousness; is the same God you use, to do the same to others. Second, this law was created at a time when there was a clear separation of human beings and other; in America. Black people where not considered human, let alone a man or woman so; in creating the law they needed to be clear: only men (white men) and women (white women) could marry, in this new great nation.

      You cannot interpret the truth to be whatever you want it be. Its the truth - it's only interpretation is itself: the truth.

The Life of Addict

      I am an addict! I am addicted to anything that produces a chemical reaction in my body.

      From music to prescription pills; they all evoke some form of chemical reaction in my brain. This reaction from my brain sends signals throughout my body which causes effects such as, numbness to pulses electrically moving throughout the blood stream. This intense feeling has controlled my mind for years; always searching for the next high; the next big wave of electrical pulses. Before I could utter the high of prescription pain killers or experience the electrifying charge of a sexual organism, my high came from music!

      Such as the electrifying pulses that bang through your body when you first hear the piano in Maze Ft. Frankie Beverly, ‘We are One” – or the boom in your chess when you hear Biggie “Big Poppa” – or the tingle down your spine when you hear Chaka “Through the Fire”. My first hit of music had me hooked. Spending countless hours, just listening to music – all different kinds, experiencing the countless chills and electric pulses made me yearn for more and more. And soon when that high no longer electrified me; I had to find something different. As my brain searched for higher pulses the music was no longer creating; alcohol came into play.

     The burn from the alcohol going down into my chest first made my brain scream but, then it stopped hurting! Alcohol didn’t send electrical pulses throughout my body; it made everything numb to pulses from the exterior.  Once I felt nothing, it was a wrap. I could dance all night long, say things without regret and feel like the Hulk, the entire time – no high was better than feeling nothing. It was almost, as if I became invisible, no need to get high; what’s that? As with everything else synthetic, it wore off and coming from out of the liquid darkness – sent my body on a liquid frenzy! Liquid, literally comes out of every place with a whole; ass, mouth, pussy, ears, nose…etc. The after affect, caused me to step back from the alcohol. Which opened me up to this new thing; organisms.

     It’s the most indescribable feeling, one has. Being that I was introduced to sex, too early and improper; my curiosity sent me to give myself, my first organism. Time stops, everything stops in an instant; tingling inside my bones begin from my feet and works its way up; my heart starts racing and then it fills me up! As soon as the tingling reaches my brain – I EXPLODE! Sounds come back, I gain consciousness and my body shakes. My mind now craved that feeling. I wanted it morning, noon and night. In the quests for the best organism ever, I found Mary-Jane!

       Not looking for her at all, she came out of nowhere and took my world by storm. With all the constant rubbish going on in my head every minute of the day; the thousands of words passing through my consciousness daily; Mary-Jane slowed things down. She allowed me to notice things – I normally would have ignored. Everything about the regular normal days, made a little more sense. All the emotions and thoughts I felt all the time, electrified and slowly became clear. The everyday hustle and bustle, became an adventure instead of a task. Mary Jane, made good things great and bad things seem, not so bad. It became a part of me; numbing me to its effect. As a walking blunt, accidents where prone to happen; opening me up to the all-consuming high of prescription pills.

      My mind was ahead of me; looking for its next big high and in my time of stress it found pills. One day, I decided to stay awake watching TV, after popping a Percocet for my stomach ache. It was as if I was watching myself do things but, not really feeling or remembering anything. My eyes where open, I could see and do but, I was above it all watching down on it.  I watched for years, as the pills took control of every decision and thought of mine. One day, I had to watch as my entire world went into flames and there was nothing I could do. I didn’t ruin my life, I didn’t hit an all-time low and realized the dangers I faced; my family didn’t conduct an intervention; my God took the only thing in my life that made complete since. The one thing in my life that was a consent, the one thing that I knew would always hold me down and hold my hand – my mother. He had to show me that I was searching for all the wrong things; so he took the one thing that would wake me up; the one thing that would get my attention enough to see. Confused, hurting, consumed by pills, weed, and anything that would remove my thoughts; I cried out to him; my God and he answered.

       His answer to my call for something, anything, gave me the highest, high I’ve ever felt. The moment I realized the love and strength of my god. Standing in the Starbucks waiting for my “Grande Caramel Macchiato”, I fell in love for the first time in my life and experienced the best feeling I’ve ever had. One that rushes throughout your body and makes you fell full! Emotionally, physically and mentally – just full! It’s like little fireworks blasting off every second inside your entire body and the only thing you can do is cry! JOY, LOVE and Happiness, all in one! No longer did I have to find a high – I woke up with this feeling every day. It never left, I didn’t need to look for it; it was already there.

Maya Angelou said on Oprah the other day, “love liberates”. God liberated me with his love! 

How Dare You

      It is totally the governments fault, that this guy committed this crime; for not having stricter laws against guns and gun ownership. This, according to the father of the gunman from the Oregon school shooting; Thursday, October 1, 2015. 

      He takes no blame for raising a child that would commit a massacre? Sure America needs to do something about its gun laws but, how did YOUR son acquire the idea to kill?

      As parents we are the first teachers to our children. We are the first people that make memorable impressions on our children and can do the most damage or greatness in that child’s life. At some point, we have to let those children that we raise, go; let them go into the world and hope that everything we taught them comes out better, better than we could have imagine. When an accomplishment is made by one of or all of our children, we want nothing more than credit for raising such a great person however; on the other side we never want to take the credit for raising this child if they accomplish a criminal or dangerous behavior or lifestyle.

      The father of this guy who committed this insane act against this community; needs to accept his part in that contribution to society.  I do not hate him, or his family; nor do I wish any harm or condemn them. Also, hope that this truth allows some obviously much needed healing in that family. As a member of society, with an opinion, I find it hard to believe that this tragedy was caused by the government and its lack of control over the guns in America. Do we need to do more damage control, when it comes down to gun control: Yes! Background checks, less production, real border control and stricter gun laws. Sure, it plays a part but, have we all forgotten that America is really one big ass community. We all play a part in this world, in the order that it was designed by the Great Divine! This father created, the son that committed the crime. My mother created the hurt woman that is climbing out of the ashes; learning and living and contributing knowledge, opinion and truth to her community. Just as the mother of President Lincoln, created the son that would become the President that freed the Slaves. Not comparing, this guy or myself to President Lincoln but, we all have parts in this community; in this world.

      Each and every one of us, remember moments in America, where we were when these event's happen. Majority of those moments are committed by people - we individually do not know at all but, they spark a change in the dynamic of the world, the course of the plan we or “you” thought you had. 9/11 brought more families together than anyone will ever know. Trayvon Martin brought a lot of families to their knees and the first Black President, elated the black race and culture. Things will happen, life will happen; what will be, will be. Your job is to use the greatest tools available to reach the high. Not heaven but, the high enlightenment, the divine.

      To understand your purpose and go after it with every strength in your body. You can then, put forth this purpose to raise up your family and community. We are all connected - were one of us ends, another one of us begins. 

BLACK LIVES MATTER...?

The “BlackLivesMatter” movement is taking over, literally; just asked Presidential Candidate Bernie Sanders. They took over his campaign event the other night because he wasn’t listening, obviously. But, the real question on everyone’s mind is; how has this movement grown so big, so fast? The reason I give you – All Lives Matter!

For centuries in America, several people, from Black, to Native American’s, to Jews, currently Muslims and gays; have had to fight for equality. In the land where we were born and raised; majority of us; aren’t treated as equal. 100% of the minorities in this country has felt some form of inequality. One can only hope this is what sparked, the “BlackLivesMatter” movement.

Yes, they are making a statement about Black people but, the point of the movement is that “our”, people who are treated less than; their lives matter. It shouldn’t take for thousands of unarmed, black males and females to be killed by police, for people to hear the cries of those lives that feel, they don’t matter.

As long as history goes, people of African American decent has been treated unfairly for several reasons, the main reason being because they are black. The fact that millions of people have chosen to ignore that these kind of things happen every day, doesn’t mean, it doesn’t exist. The first slaves were brought over approx. in 1619. Slavery continued and only got worse as the years went on. Black people were considered less than, human. We were traded and sold like the NASDAQ and it was a way of life for approx. 246 years. It took a financial movement to spark one of our, now considered great President’s, Lincoln, to abolish this law of slavery. Directly after abolishing slavery our great nation created laws to keep these same “negro’s” out of their society; Jim Crow Laws. Initially in the form of “Black Codes”, became a standard for every state in America. Sure they were different base on the state but, every state had Jim Crow laws. Jim Crow became the way of life for another, approx. 99 years. The same year America decided to grant “black” people, or minorities rights, was the same year, it created the CIA, and increased its efforts into the Vietnam War! 1964 was a crazy year for America; the 60’s in its entirety was ridiculous. Not to long after they gave us our civil rights and pushed us into War; they sent drugs home with us.

Seriously, you don’t think drugs was created or established in America by Black people; do you? Not at all; where the hell did Cocaine come from? The streets of New York? Where did they get it? Law Enforcement? It’s clearly all over the television and reports during the seventies. CNN is right now showing us different things about the 70’s. Drugs predominantly took over urban areas in America. New York had over 500,000 drug related deaths in the late 70’s early 80’s. The areas in New York where, these crimes were happening, were urban areas; “black neighborhoods”.  Do you think the “War on Drugs” was created out of thin air; please. They created a problem, they knew they could never fix. Then they created government agencies to defeat a created “War on Drugs”; the DEA and other numerous agencies. Just as with the prison industrial complex.

After all the drugs was filtered out into the urban area’s the next thing they did was remove the men out the communities; either by sending them to jail, putting them out of the homes through Welfare programs, or the most famous – watching them kill each other. From local news, to national news throughout the 80’s and the 90’s all you knew was black on black crime. We had festivals to promote non-violence in our communities, as if the violence wasn’t provoked. And million man marches’ to stop violence but, it just continued. The Blood’s and Crip’s, drug Lord’s and King Pin’s. All throughout the nation all you hear and see, is “Stop with the pointless killings and the slain of innocent victim’s; “Stop killing each other”. “Gang violence is destroying our urban neighborhoods”. When you rip everything else from a people, and make them create lives and systems within a small network of people (their own race; their own communities and neighborhoods); where they are respected for things that don’t make since outside of the hood; what do you think you will come out with. They didn’t create these street laws and rules because they wanted to. Neighborhood gangs and communities didn’t just join together and protect each other because they wanted to. Hundreds of years told them that they weren’t accepted in the big/real world- so they created their own. And who are you going to kill when your living in your own world; THE PEOPLE IN YOUR WORLD! Duh!

The same system that evoked, in people, that black people were animal’s, later made the world believe that all black men or black’s, period; are criminals and/or some sort of dangerous. “Stereotyping of Black as criminals is so persuasive throughout society that “criminal predator” is used as a euphemism for “young Black male” Bridget Welch; Sociology in Focus.

 During the early 2000’s the focus wasn’t so much on crime as it was keeping the black children down and not giving them all that they needed to survive and grow within the society as a whole. During, the democratic years of Clinton and some of the years of the great W. Bush we lost our footing in education. Again, majority in urban areas but, the law “No Child left behind” didn’t help no one. They begin putting our children through school, just because. Our children couldn’t make a smiley face on the paper and their ignorant self, graduated from high school. We went from fair trade, to less than; from less than, to criminals and dangerous folks, from dangerous folks to people with very limited abilities and not enough brain power to know any better; then from there we went to, well their lives aren’t really important; it won’t matter if we just get rid of some of them, “by any means necessary”; and here we are; “Black Lives Matter”.

“BlackLivesMatter”, because ALL LIVES MATTER! No one hasn’t been listening to us; all this time. We get a ruling here and there; we get some laws changed between then but, it never seems to matter; because, Black Lives have never matter in America. Once were ALL willing to accept the truth we can move forward but, the first step in any recovery is- admittance. The “BlackLivesMatter” movement, was created to be heard! Not to diminish anyone else’s life. Just because “BlackLivesMatter”, another person, of a different race, life doesn’t; NO. Why does there have to be a competition? Why can’t you just hear that we aren’t being heard! For almost 400 years NOW! Our lives Matter. Black people Matter! BLACK LIVES MATTER! ALL LIVES MATTER!

Its For The World

Majority of my life I couldn’t remember a lot of years. I could only remember from ages 9/10 and up; and even some of those years got scrambled. Maybe it was because of the trauma I faced around that age, that everything before then was completely erased. No longer a memory in my brain – to much trauma to remember the good or bad times, of what was. The years went away as the hurt and the pain took over my body. The hatred for myself and the overwhelming desire or need to have someone pay attention to me. The years that I forgot were also a part of me, however. They also affected how I treated myself and others growing up. So, initially on this journey of me – I had to find those missing years and put them all together to understand who I was and who I was meant to be. In that, I decided to write a book.

                Not only to put the things in order but, to exam all those important moments. The moments that shape who we are as people, the moments that we cherish forever. I begin my book; not as a book. I just started taking time to think about things and jotting them down as I went along. They weren’t in any type of order but, as I remembered them so did I remember things that never actually happened. Memories that I put in place of those lost memories to make myself seem important or to give myself a memory for that time period. As they came full force I begin to talk about the memories to my family and friends. They all said write a book – I’d read it; and so I did. And let me tell you, the process is much harder than it seems.

Taking all those thoughts, feelings, ideas, the pain and the sorrow and putting them in order and on paper; while also having them make since and come together, whew, it’s a process. I always wondered why it took so much to be a great writer but, mainly I now believe it takes drive and determination. Drive to finish the great work of art and determination to share all the crazy and secret aspects of your life. To leave a mark with someone else who may be going through similar things or someone who is warned before they get into similar experiences. Then on top of that you have to think about how to get the book to the world and how receptive one will be to your work of art. The entire time, Erykah Badu kept flashing through my mind; “I’m an artist and um sensitive about my shit!” I totally understand where she’s at with that; I won’t even let my wife read any of the book; it’s not finish and I don’t want her making judgments about an unfinished work of art. I don’t want anyone to hate my art, or dislike my art but, I also have to be realistic; there may be a few that dislike it. I have to remember; this book is not for me. It was; it was my way of getting my life in order but, the book, it’s turning out to be, for the world. It’s for someone who needs a little guidance, someone who’s looking for all the wrong things and don’t know that, that’s what they’re doing. It’s also for entertainment. My friends and family and I, have always said my life is like a Lifetime movie. As, I continued to put everything into my words, I got stopped by a daunting concern.

I have to have a title. What do you call your life, wrapped into almost 250+ pages? What do you, call all the blood, sweat and tears that happened to make this book what it is.  Until it came to me one night. Talking to wife about what the purpose of the book would be; it popped into my head, just like the words came to me. I would tell you but, then it wouldn’t be a surprise. I’m still tweaking it a little but, it’s almost done and I couldn’t be more proud.

I hope you all are enjoying my blog. It is my release of information to the masses. It’s where I go when I need clarity or when I need to get something off my chest. It helps me put things into perspective and see things in different viewpoints. As a writer my words mean everything to me and I hope that one day or every day that someone reads my blog, it sparks something in them to do something great for themselves or someone else. My blog is part of my gift to the world and I am dying to know what you think. Add a comment or two and follow my blog. I hope to make a difference in your life; if it’s something you need! 

Best Decision for Election 2016

Monday, on our way home from our mini-family vacation; my wife and I lost time discussing President Obama, the Presidential election process and Decision 2016. In 2008, my wife asked me “why would you vote for a “white” woman with emotional difficulties versus a “black” man with legitimate views?” Hilary Clinton was my choice, for my first Presidential Election. To me, she was this great woman, who overcame a tremendous slap in the face, from her own husband and continues to overcome great barriers. Before; I am black, before; I am a millennial, before anything else – I’m a woman and to have a woman in control of the greatest nation in the world, meant a lot. Regardless of her views, I was voting for her. Also, around this time, I also begin reading and researching history and information that I was not taught in school. I begin learning more and more about black people and honestly I became a little angry at white people. I changed my vote in 2008, 97% because I was angry at white people and I wanted the first black President, regardless. As time moved on, the mask of hatred for white people left. I was no longer, am no longer upset with a race of people. I do not dislike anyone because of what they look like or the color of their skin. When it came time to vote for President again, I didn’t feel like Obama had enough time to give us the things he promised us and I wanted to believe in him. Politics’ and the government was becoming more and more damaged and I wanted to believe.

                When I checked that box for President Obama, 2012 – I believed in “Change”. I believed that he would make a difference for “normal” people; NOT black people but, people. I believed that he would decrease the huge divide between “us” and the rich and powerful. I trusted that he would require his peers to answer our questions and give us the truth. I believed he would design a healthcare system that worked for “us” and not hurt us – as it was already doing. I believed that he would require standards and accept nothing less – that he would end this ridiculous war; or at least try too. He has done nothing but conform to other’s opinion of him and their expectation. He was a great man and something happened to him and he has become so small. I have more respect for the current First Lady of the United States than, I do of the current President of the United States. Every bill or issue that he has placed across the table has hurt “us”. The increase tax on the businesses that make 250,000 dollars a year or more – how can they give someone an opportunity when they are getting screwed by the government? These same companies, will hire people that they do not have to put on the books and those that will work for nothing. Obamacare; makes me really sad! You don’t publicize healthcare for all citizens, which provides them great service for free or at a minimum fee – NO! You create a requirement and layout some minimal standards for the private companies and then add on a tax for those who still can’t afford the healthcare.

                It breaks my heart, knowing that I contributed to voting this man, into this office. I fail for the okkie-dok! And now the time has come to vote in another Jekyll. My anger is not all placed on President Obama, oh no, every President going back, a long time, has ran a completely different race then their actual presidency. We should vote for the person with the least opportunity to do harm. The guy or gal with the best swag is probably not the best option – the Casanova of the race should not get your vote. But, then again it doesn’t really matter who we vote for, they are all fighting or working with a corrupt system. By the time we got near our home, we both agreed to sit this one out. Unless we were to wake up and every person in some position of power – no longer was in that position; we will be on the side lines. We are exercising our right to vote and choosing to, not. I cannot live with another decision, like Obama and not one person running in the current race, show’s anything different. The only person who I can even stand to listen too, I wouldn’t want to be the president of my neighborhood watch. Donald Trump, is not the next President of the United States and if by chance he becomes the President, were going to shit.

                Hilary Clinton is the same woman she was almost eight years ago and I definitely do not want a President that does not change. She has not shown any growth or difference in her actions or her views, since 2008; hell since 1994. Jeb Bush; is a Bush, period. He was raised by the same person who raised George W. His father was bff’s with Saddam. I do not know one thing about his view’s – never took the time to listen to him speak however; I do know that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. And by all accounts – this one is his father’s child. We should not elect him; the same reason we didn’t re-elect his father for a second term and the reason why majority of us live with the mistake of voting his brother in, twice. The other candidate’s do not really stand a chance, unless someone else step’s up to the plate or something drastic happens.

We need to take a few seconds and really think about Decision 2016. This time, do not think about what benefits you directly – think about your country. People who own companies; if you vote for someone after your interest alone, you’ll be hurting the people who spend their money at your stores. If you hurt them, you eventually hurt yourself. Those of us, who work for a living, stop thinking about what benefits you can get from “them”. This country was built on the idea of working for a living – creating your own destiny – do that? Stop voting for someone who is willing to give you something, at the cost of everything! Those of you who choose not to vote, because you do not care enough too; care enough too! Care about tomorrow a little bit more than you do and it won’t be so bad, when it gets here. Think about the options that you are giving up by choosing not to care. They WORK FOR US! We have to require them to do right BY US! WE DESERVE EQUALITY AND RESPECT AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS!  #Vote4life2016; not for self! 

Top Five Pick - Top New Stories of the Week!!

~*TOP FIVE PICK~*

Number Five Bill Cosby is a Rapist *

      Majority, if not all of the news broadcasting stations are discussing this as a top three story and it’s been driving me crazy! Who didn’t know that there was something wrong with Bill Cosby? He is a very rude and arrogant man and has been, all my life so, what was expected when this news came to light? If you’re not aware; supposedly Bill Cosby raped quite a few woman; a while back. The woman are speaking years later about these tragic moment/moments in their lives and the media is eating it up. Most recently a deposition came out, regarding a case that was sealed from 2005 with an alleged victim and Mr. Cosby. He admits to having some form of sexual activity with this woman and drugging her to make her comfortable. Not his words!

     It’s not really news; he shouldn’t be taking up this much time of our news broadcasting! There is actual, things happening in the world that affects us all. Bill Cosby deserves whatever the Universe has for him; Karma is a bitch. I do not know if everything is true or false, my concern is that this is news in the first place. He did what he did to these woman in the past and he should pay but, who is to say what that payment should be. Ultimately he pays an ultimate price to someone bigger than all of us. Next!

Number Four Donald Trump and his trash mouth

      How do I put this politely; he’s a dick. Do we really expect him to have respect for John McCain, let alone people? He is a pretentious dick that always rattle’s our feather’s months before the election and then does nothing. He stated - not a direct quote “John McCain, is not a war hero. Well, he was captured so he is a war hero”. Now, let’s discuss John McCain for a moment; he is the same guy that was captured by Vietnam and was known as a rat. I have no control over who is considered a Hero or not but, in my book he is not a hero. For America, I think that is to be determined. He has yet to do anything to make this world a truly better place; another veteran politician abusing power.

     Donald Trump was not wrong in what he said at all however; who really cares. His opinion is just his opinion. If he makes it anywhere in this presidential election – it will be a surprise for me. I believe deep down he is a noble person but, as I’ve said before I do not believe no person running; as of yet, can do the job “we” as American’s need done in the White House. He is saying what a lot of people wants to say but, the media make’s him out to be this tool for speaking his mind. Yes, he is a dick. I expect him to be a dick but, I do not expect my news reporters to take the story to this level, again it’s not news. Next!

Number Three The Israel Deal!

     First, off my television has been on the news all day; partially tuning in on The Talk and The Real but, CCN; HLN and FOX – yes Fox has been on my TV and the only place that I heard anything about this deal was through my “new” subscription to The New York Times. The Iran Deal – The Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action is basically a breakdown of our Five+ countries that decides how one country should run or control their weapons and/or oil, etc. manufacturing, distribution, etc. It lays out a structural plan over at least twenty years of how Iran is to conduct all these things, with restrictions and monitoring by these plus five countries.

      This is an ongoing topic for The Rude Diary, it’s important because it explains everything about how we operate as a Country. This deal is a contract for us; as a nation along with a few other’s to control one country and you wonder why they are so angry and they continue to disrespect countries and “terrorize” them. I am not the president; not by any means am I qualified to become the president but, I do understand business and I understand life, liberty and respect. This deal is not a good deal by any means. We need to be talking about that – and asking the real questions of our politicians.

Number Two What is the Stand on the War?!

     I guess everyone is ok with the War in Iraq, on Terror – or whatever it’s called? No one seems to be asking the easy questions. Everyone is interested in asking the tough questions, which has absolutely nothing to do with being a president. Who gives a crap if Hilary Clinton sent or didn’t delete emails? Clearly not me, because I do not know the story but, the point is – is the next president going to end this war? This war that is costing us so much money we decided to legalize marijuana. A war that has caused a major, major rift in so many homes and lives because of displacement. A war that has struck pain in many hurts because of lost. When does this end – what is going to be next for us? I do not want to live in a Country that is too poor to survive.

     Just like this Iran Deal, why are we not asking these candidates about ending the War? When do we bring out troops home – seriously, bring them home for good and not a few of them for a while. When can we go to sleep in our beds, that we pay a lot of money for and know that our Country is not going to be under attack because our policy maker’s decided to tell another Country want to do? This War needs to be over and I need someone to answer my question – how do you plan to bring every single troop home and end this pointless war?

Number One The news that is no longer NEWS!

        What’s happening to the Freddie Gray case? What about the Amtrak crash in Philadelphia two months ago? What are they doing about the consistent racism in America? So, as it stands Amtrak doesn’t have an official decision on what happened during the Amtrak incident. A tragic moment in our nation’s history and it is totally swept under the rug. No, one has presented any factual evidence about the accident. The driver was speeding but, I’m 100% sure that he speeds everyday taking that route and nothing ever happened. Will this be a government cover up? Something additional happened out there that night that is not being told to America and Crystal is on the case. I hate lies and it just doesn’t make any sense that this guy would derail the train that he drives all the time without any outside influences. He was not drinking, not texting, not doing anything out of the ordinary. He was not crazy, not taking any drugs or trying to commit suicide. A tragic accident or some sort of conspiracy? No one is providing that information to us at this moment – I’ll wait.

      Freddie Gray and many other African-American people have been killed by the police in America and the police have always gotten away with it. In some form or another. The issue in this story isn’t just that they killed Freddie Gray, it’s that they killed him and is totally disregarding the situation; as they always do. The six police officer’s that has been charged in the murder of Freddie Gray, are all at home while this situation is going on. The first thing that makes a difference; the officers are charged with murder and they are at home. If this was a person other than a police – they would be in jail. I do not care if they are considered to be “doing their job” - civilians are always presumed guilty until innocent. Why is the law “innocent until proven guilty” only awarded to the rich, famous, politicians and law enforcement? Police brutality is true; it is the cornerstone for so many ghetto’s and under privileged neighborhood or communities in America. The only information available, regarding this case is local news, The Baltimore Sun - it states, yesterday that the defense is requesting the trial is relocated. Why, Baltimore will convict them; well those are their peer’s correct? Why would you move the case from where it begin? A fair trial is with a jury of their peer’s – the only people that receive and can actually attend jury duty, are stand up citizens that go to work every day; abide by the laws of the land and trust in our government and judicial system (to a point). Isn’t that the life of police officer’s so, why would this trial be unfair? This is ridiculous!

       Black Lives Matter, Muslim Lives Matter, Jewish Lives Matter, White Lives Matter, Chinese Lives Matter… and so on, and so on! The guy that shot the Marine’s, yes he was a Muslim but, that doesn’t only defined him. They are quick to tie him to his religion or race, just as they do with many other people and it doesn’t define who we are. I am not Crystal W because I’m black. Some people do use their race or religion but, not everyone. Let’s try to do something. Let’s try and publish stories without commenting on their race unless, their race becomes the reason for the crime. We have to stop making things more of an issue then it is and people can move on and grow. Race is a very touchy topic; it gets people to their core and it makes them feel defensive. Until we know the truth about race and its origin, we will forever have the story of the past. That consistently reminds us of lesser than or greater than people – just because of race. The more it is taught to us, in school, in the media, and in church – the more were ingrained with the dreadful history of race, slavery and persecution. We need to figure out how to deal with and accept the truth of the past and make light of a greater future – where it doesn’t matter.

America; land of the free, home of the brave?

How come we accept anything? We as people, we as citizens of a nation.

Almost ten years ago I found out that Christopher Columbus did not discover America. In school, the teacher’s taught us that Christopher Columbus and his crew, on three ships discovered the land we call home. The British found out that there was gold over here and they came over to discover what riches they could gather and take back home. The teacher’s told the story of the pilgrims and the Indians coming together and creating Thanksgiving. “Created this country out of nothing”…blah, blah, blah. The teacher’s not once said anything to us about the British killing all the Indian’s after that wonderful Thanksgiving feast. School taught us what they were allowed to teach and what was more than likely taught to them. Schools didn’t change the tune of that story until recently.

Enough of us knew this information not, to be true and didn’t make “them” stop-or should I say not, soon enough to ruin a lot of people. No one stood up and expected “them” to change the course of this information, why? Why are we willing to accept information that enough of us know not, to be true. We are trained to believe the information “they” feed us and we’re instilled with fear of “them”. Taught not to make accusations of “their” information or “their” governance. Who are “they”; well I’m not really sure, I believe that is how “they” like it.

I’m not going to say that we as American’s or citizens of any nation take anything “laying down” however, we do. How could we allow “them” to completely disregard us and pick the person we didn’t pick? Pick the person that by all accounts, cheated. America is the land of the free and the home of the brave but, our President (not current) stole the presidency! The creators of this nation said “to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government” Why have we not done that, because it would take too much! Because it’s not worth it; how do you know?

We won’t allow our children to lie to us and we teach them that lying gets you into trouble but, we listen to and vote for people who lie to us over and over again. We work for government agencies that commit more crime then “criminals” and we do nothing! We believe in a God that was taught to us by the same people that told us white and black people are from different species.

For me, all it really takes is one good lie and I’m done. Christopher Columbus was that for me. I knew that Bush fucked with us on that election but, I still don’t know or truly understand that entire situation.  I’m not some crazy conspiracy, chasing woman that lives her life searching for crime or trying to take over the world. We are not doing that today, Pinky! I still support some people because there are a few! There are those out there that do, do things to make a difference; just as I do. And THANK YOU! I know that it only really takes, one person. We have to wake up and make changes. We have to stop allowing the people and the system we created, to dictate us. “They” work for us-We pay “Them”! The time is now, “they” are slowly working their way to the point where that doesn’t matter or exist any longer! The first thing that should change is; our vote, for president, should actually matter. We go out and campaign, we support to no end, we give you our hard earned money and if we vote for someone “they” still get whoever “they” want. That makes no sense what so ever!

I ultimately want peace in our great nation and the world as a whole. Equality, Love, Respect, Community, Dedication, Honor, Courage, Faith-world peace! I love my country! Our history makes us who we are but, the true history is totally hidden from us and it’s not fair or right! We deserve a nation that works for us and not against us and we deserve to know the truth. We can’t continue to lie to our children and expect for our country to have a fighting chance when were all dead. Our children have to be smarter and more prepared than us.

No Connection to any public organizations, groups, etc. All words are by Crystal Ann Washington. Her personal opinion on public and private events throughout her life. 

I'm a Writer...Who Would Have Known?

     This morning, was a big morning for me! I had an epiphany! Growing up every two years my mother would buy me a diary/journal; until I was old enough to buy my own. She said it was to express myself when no one would listen and so I did! by the time I was in high school I had five journals full! I have always expressed myself through words but, never understood the importance of this ability!

    Were taught to grow up, do the right things; get your education (in my family more like-get your high school diploma), get a good government job and pay your bills! Being a writer was never a possibility-it wasn't a real job and so, it never crossed my mind. For 27 years my path was making the right decisions to complete all the tasks my mother required of me-writing was not in that path. In school, I would write papers for my friends! When they were down to the wire and needed a great paper in less than a day- who you gonna call- Crystal! And I always pulled it out! Writing has always made me feel free-like no matter what was going on or what would happen my words could change the world! I never thought about sharing my personal feelings with anyone however; I loved to write but sharing your most inner thoughts and inner emotions is something I was not willing to do. So, when it was time for me to think about what I wanted to do in life, being a writer was not on that list. I personally do not know one writer so, to vision what a writer's life would look like was impossible. And then there was Carrie-not rage Carrie; Carrie Bradshaw!

     Watching her on Sex and the City brought professional writing to the forefront! You could actually afford to live as a writer; if you're a good one! I could buy all the Louis Vuitton I wanted if I found the right things to write about! That idea sparked me but, bills and life wasn't ready for me to drop everything and start writing so, I continued to work and complete the tasks my mother asked of me. However; with one heartache my entire life plan change and I had no idea where I was or where I was going. It was as if I woke up and finally smelled the coffee. I love my mother more than anything! She was one of my very best friends and we shared everything! She was everything to me; my mother, my friend, my pastor, my supervisor, my conscious and my happiness. A little to much right-Yea! We had one of those very unhealthy co-dependent mother-daughter relationships! And she lived her life through me. It sounds crazy to my friends and stuff because it wasn't like she turned me into a dancer and forced me to do a sport she but, it was the same thing; in a different way.

     My mother's dream was to live a safe and happy life. Dreaming of having that great love; finding the perfect government job, providing for her family and living out her life until retirement! it was the perfect dream for her and it's the dream that we all have; as women. Normal, everyday women. Have friends, enjoy life; find that great love, move into a 2.5 bedroom house with a great outdoors. Have 2.5 children, a great dependable job, vacations once a month (or whatever) and live happily ever after! So, as her daughter, and since she couldn't fulfill any of her dreams - not for the lack of trying but, she just couldn't; I did! By 27 I was about 75% finish with the dream. Married, great government job, college degree, great social life, only missing the children and the home however; it was coming. We were in preparation mode and then the heartache and my life turned upside down!

     It's crazy to describe but, growing up I was always searching for something; always wanting something bigger and better than I had or thought I could get. I never felt happy and made a lot of decisions that was stuuu-ppid! When my mother passed away, I had to think for myself. My thoughts were my own and the decisions I made weren't going to get approval from my mother. She was no longer there to affect how I decided to live my life or what move's I would make. The biggest decision I made after my mother passed was quitting that damn job! I never wanted to work for the government but, up until a few years ago I didn't know why. The only reason I ever thought about it or did it is because I knew it would prove security. It was the safe job that my mother told me to aim for. Are you suppose to accomplish all your dreams by 27! Or should you always aim for something greater! I choose to always aim for something greater! Not to search for anything but, to aim for everything!

    My mother's dream was to small and it smoother me! I made all the wrong decisions because it wasn't the life I was suppose to live! I am a writer. I evoke change through my words and that is the life I am suppose to live! That is the tool that the Universe has given to me; my gift to share with the world to aim for world peace! I'm not running for Miss America but, I truly want World Peace!

I'm a Black Jew!

     Not the only black Jewish person. In fact I believe the original Jew's were black, I think I may be leaning towards Judaism. Christianity is breaking me down.

     How many stories have you heard or read about, where someone does not believe or live “right by God” and becomes converted. What do they convert; why must you go through a transformation- to live right? Why do you “need Jesus” to believe in something bigger than you and I. Why is there a wrong and a right when someone beliefs are involved; what are all the additional expectations for?

Raised in the church, teaches you the rules and lays the ground work, for a life “living right by God and accepting him in your life as your savior”. I’m talking every day of the week church. Only church music allowed, prayer cloths worn on your head in “the house of God”. We went to bible study, Wednesday night prayer service and every week there was a revival of some kind. I have an understanding; I know the bible; not like the people who wrote it but, I know it. I understand what is expected of me as a Christian. I understand what is expected of me “living right by God” and all the things I do living a life as a sinner. What I don’t understand is all the unanswered questions. First, how can you adjust rules or create rules and demoralize someone because they don’t fit or adjust well to the new rules. Like committing adultery or incest. Both are demoralized by the Bible and the Christian faith but, all originated in their religion. How did the earth reproduce if people wasn’t having sex with their mother’s fathers or sister’s and brother’s? Time and time again people say to me; Crystal that was so long ago, how was the earth going to grow if we didn’t do those things. And my statement is, that’s not the point. I don’t condone someone sleeping with a married person or their family however; people who do believe these things shouldn’t be condemned because they do believe. Where is the respect or the acceptance in the Christianity faith?

     Then, there’s the question of his “only begotten son”; according to the story “he”, created Adam and Eve and we’re all his children. How is Jesus his only begotten son; because he made him inside of a woman and not out of dirt, as Adam and Eve? But he makes us out of women; he brings us all to life and breath’s life into us. They say, thank God for waking you up every morning and breathing air into your body. He gives us every day; is that just a fable or is it true, because if it’s true then we’re all his “begotten children”. Is Jesus just a really special person that the writers of the bible decides to make him this grand person? Jesus could just as well be, as normal as you and I but, with great characteristic’s like Michael Jackson. Yes; I’m comparing Michael Jackson to Jesus Christ. Michael has millions and millions of followers; millions and millions of people that believe in everything he did and people that would follow him to the ends of the earth. That’s a lot of similarities.

     What is the connection to histories recorded first civilization? Did biblical folks living with dinosaurs; were they before or after dinosaurs. The bible never discuss anything in science from the big bang to anything that makes since and the same thing with science. It never mentions anything dealing with biblical historical facts. Where is the connection; or are these two different worlds- when does one time end and the other begin. And where does this make any sense?

      I believe-I believe in life! I believe there is a higher power; man, woman or thing. The Universe-Infiniti- the ultimate grand supreme; mightier than you and I and with a plan just as grand. What majority of us refer to as God; now where on the same page with that. The person - the idea of an ultimate being and belief in the greatest love of all. The problems begin with the stories, Jesus and all the rules to follow, to be accepted in a place where the thing that should only matter is if you believe in God; but everything else matter’s first. Specifically, are you following our set of rules and are you doing what we taught you to do, say and think. That is why I have an interest in practicing Judaism. Their belief in one God, one ultimate is what matter’s and what makes the most sense. Muslim’s are to angry, Christian’s have entirely to many rules, Buddhism - not really sure but, I didn’t feel any connection when I begin to research the religion, period and Catholic’s well it’s the same as Christian but, they have an entirely different belief system. The circle of these religions all really tie into Judaism but, branch off because different people had different views and gathered a bunch of followers to spread the word. I believe in God and I have faith in the grand design. I have faith in the love that I carry. I have faith in myself and my family and so much more. I’m not an atheist- nothing wrong with those who are but, faith is true and pure and it never fails you. It’s the questions, I can’t get past. How can I learn and grow if I don’t get clarity on the things that I do not understand or quite necessary agree with. Confusion if not a good state to be in. And to believe in everything that the church system has created or stands for is a ball of confusion; unless you don’t ask questions and be a puppet.

     When we didn’t understand dinosaurs; when we couldn’t trace DNA, before we could us cell phones; we asked questions and found the answers; but we can’t have questions about religion. And the thing is it really doesn’t have to make sense, faith doesn’t make sense. We won’t understand everything or have reason for everything but, the foundation of the church system is cracking. On top of everything else we need to fix in this world; the church system is one. The things that it is allowed to do it is ridiculous! It condemns our children to believe they are bad or going to hell and affects their entire life in many harmful ways. It requires people to turn on their love one’s and anyone out of the group and it has no limits to what it is allowed to do or say and not be condemned. It is another system that needs change or deletion!

          Ask questions-get clarity if you need or want it. Don’t’ believe in faith with an asterisk! 

A Bag & A BFF

      A Bag & A BFF 

      Wendy Williams told Taylor Swift she needs to choose better friends. She added that when were young we have thirty bff’s however; when were in our 30’s we dwindle down to a few or maybe one. How do you know if you have chosen the right few or when you need to make some changes? Most of the time we know but because we’ve grown with or around someone and care we don’t want to rock the boat. The bad thing about not rocking the boat; is that it rocks the boat. Wendy was completely right with her advice for Taylor. Friendships are partnerships, just like any relationship. The ones that are worth keeping, require work. You work to find them and you work to keep them. The pleasure is enjoying them while you have them.

     Friends and bff’s are to me; two totally different things. Friends are friends, you socialize with them, associate with them, share tails with them and expect absolutely nothing of them. Accept for rare occasions. On the other hand bff’s are closer; you share everything with them; you depend on them (not for everything) and you spend time with them. When Taylor finds that best friend or realize who her best friend is she will know. That best friend, the one or two friends, is like having that favorite bag. The bag that you won’t let go of. The one that is always there; you can throw everything in it and it holds. It doesn’t hurt your shoulders, it’s dependable and it adds a little something, every time. Every female needs one of these, has one of these - or a few of these. Now, you don’t spend all your time with that one friend. You guy’s probably have a lot of other associates and people you socialize with. Most woman throughout life keep a huge social circle and treasure a certain few; just like our bags. We have many on top of many but treasure a few. A few like, the over-sized ridiculous bag; its huge and cute. It makes a statement and is very rarely taken out. Then there is the very small clutch- the one you bring out when you’re going to fly light. You’re planning to have a ball and you only need a few things. Then there’s the bag that only goes to professional appointments or opportunities. It says I’m busy but, not too busy to pay attention to you. She comes out when you want people to know you’re important and to take you seriously. And as I said before, you always have that bag that's perfect with anything. If you’re not really doing anything, just hanging around or going out on the town. It’s there no matter what the day or night brings; you’re ready.

    

    I found the two bff’s and the perfect bag. I lost the bag around the same time I lost one of my friends. I ruined that relationship! Mistakes are made throughout life, the opportunity in them comes from understanding the mistake and what to do, to either, avoid it or don’t make the same choices the next time around. From these opportunities I’ve created four rules of friendship. These rules could be applied to boy/girl relationships-romantic and platonic friendships. Number One: Never lie; unless it’s a good lie (a white lie) ex: wedding proposal or surprise party. Number Two: Never date your friends ex: it’s a complete unwritten rule. Now exceptions are exceptions; if the person died or she stole him from you, then that’s a different story and you shouldn’t be her friend. She’s a cheap bag and her time is up. Number three: Give equal, if your friend is always making the effort and taking the initiative and you’re just a lag; that’s not fair. You also can’t dump all your problems and not have the room to give the same back. Allow her/him to dump. Give them what you want or what you receive. After so much wear and tear the bag will need a refresher. Take care of the bag, make sure you provide up keep. Selfishness is part of the reason I lost one of my bff’s. I was completely self-absorbed and I sometimes couldn’t commit to the last rule. Number four: Show up! I had my own things going on and I missed a lot but, expected her to show up for me. Don’t be that friend and do not allow anyone to be that friend to you.

     The ultimate key to being a good friend is being, a friend worth keeping. In order to do that you have to know who you are and what you have to offer. Know what you are interested in, know your limits and what you hold accountable. Know your beliefs and your values. And expect the exact same things in return. No one wants a leach friend, no one wants a friend who can’t show up, no one wants a friend, that’s not really a friend and most importantly no one wants a friend who doesn’t know who they are. At that point, what do you have to offer?

Knowledge is power.

TruePeace! 

Y should I be ok?!

Yesterday,  a new life came into the world - my niece?!?!?!

Knowing all that I know I don't want to leave any questions about my position; I don't claim her! I don't have room in my life for someone else's mistakes! Not only does she not look like my family but, unless they changed the time a woman  actually is pregnant or unless DC Jail allowed my brother to mail sperm home he didn't help conceive this child! 

Let's do a biological study - the baby was due in the month of June, which means the conception date was in August and my brother was in jail until September. Ill wait - you do the math! 

I can appreciate my brother wanting a child and wanting to be there but, I can't understand the lies!  Why would a woman lie about something like this. These are the type of decisions that give woman a bad reputation.  We have to make better choices for our children and for those that grow up watching us. When we choose to ruin someone's life with a deep lie we choose to determine our own damage future. 

Think about the choices you make and the people you evoke hurt upon!