Tuesday, July 7, 2015

A Bag & A BFF

      A Bag & A BFF 

      Wendy Williams told Taylor Swift she needs to choose better friends. She added that when were young we have thirty bff’s however; when were in our 30’s we dwindle down to a few or maybe one. How do you know if you have chosen the right few or when you need to make some changes? Most of the time we know but because we’ve grown with or around someone and care we don’t want to rock the boat. The bad thing about not rocking the boat; is that it rocks the boat. Wendy was completely right with her advice for Taylor. Friendships are partnerships, just like any relationship. The ones that are worth keeping, require work. You work to find them and you work to keep them. The pleasure is enjoying them while you have them.

     Friends and bff’s are to me; two totally different things. Friends are friends, you socialize with them, associate with them, share tails with them and expect absolutely nothing of them. Accept for rare occasions. On the other hand bff’s are closer; you share everything with them; you depend on them (not for everything) and you spend time with them. When Taylor finds that best friend or realize who her best friend is she will know. That best friend, the one or two friends, is like having that favorite bag. The bag that you won’t let go of. The one that is always there; you can throw everything in it and it holds. It doesn’t hurt your shoulders, it’s dependable and it adds a little something, every time. Every female needs one of these, has one of these - or a few of these. Now, you don’t spend all your time with that one friend. You guy’s probably have a lot of other associates and people you socialize with. Most woman throughout life keep a huge social circle and treasure a certain few; just like our bags. We have many on top of many but treasure a few. A few like, the over-sized ridiculous bag; its huge and cute. It makes a statement and is very rarely taken out. Then there is the very small clutch- the one you bring out when you’re going to fly light. You’re planning to have a ball and you only need a few things. Then there’s the bag that only goes to professional appointments or opportunities. It says I’m busy but, not too busy to pay attention to you. She comes out when you want people to know you’re important and to take you seriously. And as I said before, you always have that bag that's perfect with anything. If you’re not really doing anything, just hanging around or going out on the town. It’s there no matter what the day or night brings; you’re ready.
    I found the two bff’s and the perfect bag. I lost the bag around the same time I lost one of my friends. I ruined that relationship! Mistakes are made throughout life, the opportunity in them comes from understanding the mistake and what to do, to either, avoid it or don’t make the same choices the next time around. From these opportunities I’ve created four rules of friendship. These rules could be applied to boy/girl relationships-romantic and platonic friendships. Number One: Never lie; unless it’s a good lie (a white lie) ex: wedding proposal or surprise party. Number Two: Never date your friends ex: it’s a complete unwritten rule. Now exceptions are exceptions; if the person died or she stole him from you, then that’s a different story and you shouldn’t be her friend. She’s a cheap bag and her time is up. Number three: Give equal, if your friend is always making the effort and taking the initiative and you’re just a lag; that’s not fair. You also can’t dump all your problems and not have the room to give the same back. Allow her/him to dump. Give them what you want or what you receive. After so much wear and tear the bag will need a refresher. Take care of the bag, make sure you provide up keep. Selfishness is part of the reason I lost one of my bff’s. I was completely self-absorbed and I sometimes couldn’t commit to the last rule. Number four: Show up! I had my own things going on and I missed a lot but, expected her to show up for me. Don’t be that friend and do not allow anyone to be that friend to you.

     The ultimate key to being a good friend is being, a friend worth keeping. In order to do that you have to know who you are and what you have to offer. Know what you are interested in, know your limits and what you hold accountable. Know your beliefs and your values. And expect the exact same things in return. No one wants a leach friend, no one wants a friend who can’t show up, no one wants a friend, that’s not really a friend and most importantly no one wants a friend who doesn’t know who they are. At that point, what do you have to offer?

Knowledge is power.


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