Last year on Twitter, I had a “conversation” with a man and I included Monique Worldwide, (twitter account), because the subject of the “conversation” involved a movie, she worked on. The man said, “We never hated gay people but after watching @moniqueworldwide new movie “black bird” we have a NEW respect for gay people. They’re people too.” I included the man and a direct, to Monique Worldwide in my reply; “yes we are people, and we have blood running through our veins like you. Hashtag, Duh, and hashtag really, hashtag get it together.” In person, my eyes give me away, all the time; it is not any better, once my mouth opens, in print. When I am passionate, I speak my feelings, and it is important for me to get the point across. In my experience shock and aww appeals to people before sentiment, obviously, so it was no problem for me to start the conversation with that comment. The goal of my, rigid attempt of sarcasm, aimed at hitting an emotion of someone else; once a response was given, was totally shock and aww. It works both ways but, yet no one was willing to answer the question; what did he see us as?
About a month ago, my wife and I went on a job interview together, first time for everything. Well, we went to a Job Fair a week before this and my wife meet this person that works for a company, a funeral company. This company was looking for two positions, one in-house, at the funeral home, making arrangements and others for walk-ins, the other is out-house, sort of, “your own manager” and you work with individuals wanting to purchase plots, for that time of life. Of course, it was interesting to me, I mean, I went to college for business and over the last five years I have dipped into almost every industry and I definitely have experience with funerals. I have planned and was present at five family funerals from 2011 to 2014, some with insurance, and others without insurance. If there was one thing I knew, it is funerals. We went into the interview and we sold the hell out of them. My wife is a graphic designer and behind every creative idea, produce for my non-profit organization and my blog. Myself, well, again, I have experience in almost every industry; not job hopping but, after about two years – there really is not anything more a company could provide me besides money and after everything I have been through, money is the least thing on my mind. I am not a celebrity in any way however, I do know many people, old and young. In addition, I also have my non-profit organization, which deals with people of all ages, and more ideas came out throughout the interview. Halfway through the interview, this person was explaining, how this company would love to tap into the homosexual market; hire more minorities and more people in Washington, DC. By the time we were done, it was clear, this person wants to hire us, because we will bring in the gays “first you get the gays, and then you get the girls.” However, it is not comfortable being used for my sexual orientation or my skin color. I wonder what this person thinks about gay people. He now knows, we do not like being used?
On the other hand, I have, had the best of both worlds and not once, when I was in relationships with people of the other sex, did any one imply or question what we do in our sex life. The first thing, people ask you, when you say you are gay, ALMOST, always, relates to sex. I know it is true because, when I was younger; having thoughts about girls - the first thing that came to my mind when someone said homosexual or gay or anything relating to same sex; I thought of sex. Until I got in a relationship with a woman – I had no idea things would actually be the same, in many ways, just as a heterosexual relationship and the BEST part is – we have sex, just as often as normal couples. My wife and I are not swinging around on sea-saw, licking the skin off one another. For, crying aloud, we are married; it is not every day, it is when we want it – just like other couples. We are not sitting in the house, stalking your daughters, and then devouring them, for everything they are worth. Have you ever seen “To Catch a Homosexual?”
History shows us, the lines of discrimination; it teaches us that a group, which has been suppressed and victimized as, “mistakes from the womb,” will eventually demand freedom from suppression. “We never hated black people. But, after watching (bleep) new movie (bleep) we have a NEW respect for black people. They’re people too.” “We never hated Muslim people. But after watching (bleep) new movie (bleep) we have a NEW respect for Muslim people.” Blacks where considered, dirty stinking trash; Muslims are considered, dangerous religious nuts and Gays are seen as, toxic sexual magnetic that will still your children and rot their brains. I was afraid of homosexuality growing up, because I was scared, God would burn me to ashes. It is a “sin” to, lay with someone of the same sex, what is my family going to think, I will not be on the cheer-leading team any longer, after that. Anytime the subject came up or someone whom appeared homosexual came around, I ran, turned the channel, or change the topic. Living in fear of actually expressing yourself, is the worse feeling in the world. Ask anyone, who was a slave or is Muslim, ask someone who is fat or has a handicap.
Ms. Monique, if that was directly you, who gave the response from Monique Worldwide on Twitter, during this conversation – I would like to make a few things know. First, as I grew up – your ability to love yourself through it all, provided a possibility to me; “maybe I would not be as ugly, if I loved this amazing person – Me”. So I did, I found the love for myself. I laughed through my pain, with you a lot and I admire you for your drive to demand better and to require better. It is what required me to understand, the concept of, teaching others, how to treat you. I understood what the person said and I understood what, he gain from the movie. My interest was to learn something and may be my approach was off however; the questions still stands – what do people see us as, since it is a surprise – to see us, as people? By no means is, this an attack and I pray no one gets offended by anything said in this post. I still adore you Ms. Monique and I truly appreciate you, taking us into the areas to open up the boundaries for homosexuality. It is just, if we do not know, where those who reject homosexuality stand in their views or understanding of the relationship or concept of homosexuality, how can we change? How can we truly live in a country where, an animal’s life is more important than a human life, where a woman can reject someone a constitutional right, because she believes their relationship is a “sin” based off her religious beliefs? How do we live every day in a nation where preachers are requiring parents, to allow them to exorcise the demons of homosexuality out, of their child, by any means necessary? Where we deny; to our teeth fall out, “oh there’s no more racism” however; one which can hate someone, for something as simple as, your choice of people to fall in love with or why they choose to live their life, can just as easily hate another for the color of their skin. I am NOT CALLING anyone, involved in this conversation racist, bigoted or ANYTHING else. I am expressing my feelings about issues facing every day, a conversation I begin, with intentions to get the topic of homosexuality, out in front. I was not expecting anyone to do anything other than answer a question I have.